I Crushed 220 Miles of Pavement in July

I ran 220.5 miles in July. That's a little over 7 miles per day, or about 50 miles per week.

I also walked at least 60 miles, but walking doesn't exactly crush pavement, so who cares.

I'm not saying this to brag. Running that much requires you to be pretty insane.

I feel insane.

We all have our vices. Some of us smoke or drink too excess. Some of us eat McDonalds. Some of us yell in traffic like the other cars can hear us. Some of us run until our legs fall off. Then we duct tape them back on and run some more.

Running is a thing that helps keep me a happy and well-balanced person. Because I dump all of my crazy into the ground (almost) every day. Someone can throw a banana at me and call me a douchebag and I'll say, "I'm Ok with that. I ran 12 miles today. Your banana is a relief compared to the concrete."

I don't have a picture of a banana. But there's this.

Every day that I get out of bed, I have to carefully tiptoe. If I don't, my feet will explode. It takes a solid 20 minutes before I can walk like a regular human. I move around my home a bit like a velociraptor. But not in a cool threatening way. Mostly in a "f@%k my feet hurt" way.

So I hurt a lot. Also, I'm hungry a lot. Because I really hate myself, I also count my calories. Hey, these rippling abs aren't photoshopped. So I starve, then I run, then I eat about 50,000 calories of food in about 5 minutes. And I feel AMAZING. Then I'm hungry again. It's a bizarre scenario.

220 miles is a lot, for me anyway. I read about a 70 year old who runs like 90 miles a week. I'm pretty sure she's hiding a scooter in her pants. But then, I guess just a few years ago, I thought even 10 miles in a week was a lot (which is why my first marathon almost killed me). But I still have a long time before I get to 70. Maybe by then I'll run a hundred miles a day (and by run I mean scooter).

Of course, every mile I run translates to about a PBR. Although I'm a pretentious micro-brew type, so I have to run about a mile and a quarter. There was a LOT of beer in July. Also wine and scotch, because I endeavor to be as pretentious as possible. But I justify it to my friends by saying, "well I'm still 800 calories under budget. I HAVE to drink!" Haha. I love lying to myself.

So this is my brag/not-brag post. If you're an aspiring runner, you may despair. "I'll never get to that distance! I don't hate myself enough and I have like a real life and hobbies and stuff!" Oooooh trust me, you'll get there. Just say goodbye to your friends and family now. This is your life and the road is your friend.

This accurately describes how I usually feel.