Failure Isn't Your Fault

I succeed occasionally. I fail very often.

Most of the time when I fail, I let go of it pretty quickly. It's a learning experience, and a stepping stone to future successes.

Sometimes though, I beat myself up. I tell myself that I'm stupid, and I suck, and I should probably just stop breathing.

Failure means nothing.

What matters is how you react to failure.

And that's a choice you make.

Success and failure don't control your emotions. You do. Sure, succeeding generally makes you happier and failure... not so much. But failing a lot means you're trying, a lot. And that's what defines you. The fact that you push yourself, persevere, and refuse to surrender. Many folks experience a failure and immediately hide in a corner with a bottle of whiskey. You do not.

The whiskey is your reward.

Or the cupcake, or pizza, or ten hour Lord of the Rings marathon. Whatever. I don't want to presume that we're all alcoholics.

A lot of the times when we start something new - an exercise routine, hobby, instrument, or online sponge diving class - we have grand dreams of being awesome at it. We usually project our minds to a future of rewards, fame, and fortune (or at least one of those things). Usually we're pulverized in the face with failure. You pluck that first chord on the guitar and it sounds like ass. And there's so many chords! You go to the gym and realize that you have a tough time lifting the pen just to sign up. It can be very discouraging.

Are you kidding me? My hands don't move that way!
Photo cr. Marc Ryan

Many folks give up. They stop playing, they stop exercising, they stop trying. They come up with an excuse.

"It's not for me."

"I don't really have the time."

"I don't even live close to the ocean. When would I ever dive for sponges??"

I know, because I've been guilty of the same. I actually started to learn the guitar. I had musician friends who gave me free lessons. And I stopped doing it. Never mind that I'm doing a million things and finding the time actually is challenging. The fact is, I don't care what my excuse is. Guitar is at the top of my list of things I need to start doing again.

And that, to me, is the real failure: Giving up. I don't care that doing bar chords on an acoustic is, like, really hard (but easy on an electric!). I knew that with practice I could do it. Neither did I delude myself that I would one day be an amazing musician. I wanted to learn it for the same reason I learn anything else. To make myself a more talented and better rounded individual.

Better rounded..... with vices.

So I will do it again, no matter how impossible it is to find the time. Hell, I get up while it's still dark out to do deadlifts every morning. Maybe after that challenge ends, I'll become the crazy guy who plays guitar at 6 in the morning. You know: that guy. Actually, I think I just made that up. Even crazy people like to sleep.

That's one failure I don't forgive myself for: quitting. If I run a race and don't do as well as I'd hoped, I'll look forward to the next super fast race. But if for some stupid reason I stopped running, I would legitimately hate myself forever. I mean, unless I lost my legs in a bizarre sponge diving accident. Then I would learn to run on my hands. Or maybe those cool robot prosthetics. Sweetsville!

I'll admit though, this attitude is the hardest to maintain when it comes to one area: Love. When a relationship fails, it's very hard not to take it personally. I mean, some folks blame the other party. Those folks are assholes. Because if you just say, "well I was awesome but they sucked," then you've learned nothing. And you'll keep being a douchebag forever.

However, most healthy folks look at what they did wrong when a relationship falters or fails. And that's where it's easy to get in a spiral of self-hatred. That feeling of inadequacy. That you will never find love or happiness. That you don't deserve love. And those are all shitty feelings.

They're also bullshit. We all deserve love, and need it. Otherwise we have no reason to be.

Even these critters deserve love.

90% of relationships fail. How many boy- and/or girlfriends do most of us go through in our lives? That first awkward high school kiss isn't meant to be a bond for life. Although at the time you sure feel like it does. And when that first relationship ends over Facebook, you play sad songs with the three chords you know on the guitar for months afterwards. And then it happens again. Many of us become jaded. We either eventually settle for someone who doesn't bring us joy, or worse we just give up altogether and die in an alleyway covered in empty whiskey bottles.

Choosing to learn from that failure and moving is hard, really hard. But that's the only way you grow and become stronger. And as long as you can do so positively, without self-reproach, and without blaming someone else for your failure, then you will thrive. Every time you try again, it will be better. Love is a skill, just like picking up heavy things, or diving in the ocean and looking for sponges. Sure, failure bites deep, but you can get better at love and happiness the same as you can get better at anything else.

It's a choice to never give up.

Failure has nothing on you.

CHOOSE not to surrender.

Only You Can Make You Awesome

Nobody is going to push you to be amazing. Most folks don't even push themselves to be amazing. They're happy with the status quo. And typically they want you to fit into the status quo as well.

So not only do many folks not encourage you, quite a few will actually prevent you from improving yourself, whether subtly or overtly.

They're not assholes for doing this. They're just monkeys who don't want to see you get all the bananas.

You have to fight for the bananas.

Pushing yourself to do more than you actually need to is hard. Yeah, you have to work, because if you don't you can't buy ice cream. But if you don't run, or don't play guitar, or don't learn Swahili, you can still go and get ice cream. In fact, you will have lots of free time in which to eat ice cream. You could fill all of the cupboards in your house with melting ice cream.

I don't suggest it, but you could.

But eating ice cream doesn't make you a better person. It doesn't make you stronger, smarter, healthier, or more fantastic. It feels good, but only for a few minutes. And then afterwards your teeth hurt and you feel sleepy. The only way to get a lasting sense of fulfillment is to kick your own ass.

Learning a new skill, starting a new exercise program, or developing yourself in any new direction is hard. Because you're going to be awful at it at first. Nobody likes to do things they're bad at. They like to do things they know they're good at. Which is why I spend so much time sitting on the couch. I've practice that extensively and rock at it.

Still mastering the couch sitting thing.

Pushing yourself doesn't give you the kind of instant gratification that eating a bucket of french fries does. More likely you're going to think, "this sucks. Why the heck am I doing it? There's pizza and beer, like, within ten miles of me and I know how to drive."

You have to train yourself to find joy in hard work. Basically, you have to make yourself crazy. Nobody likes hard work, or sweating, or trying and failing repeatedly. Running in particular is a double dose of suckage. You're going to be super slow in the beginning, and everything will hurt for days afterwards. Telling your friends anything other than, "that was the worst experience of my life," will make you sound crazy.

Luckily, the more successes you experiences, the easier it becomes to push yourself even further. Because once you've gotten that taste, it becomes addicting. Once you know it's possible to achieve greatness, it seems much less out of reach. Your mentality goes from, "it would take me infinity long to get good at this," to "it would take me a few months to get OK at it and after a couple years I'll be a rockstar!" And the longer you've already spent improving yourself, the less of a hurdle time seems.

I guarantee you that you're not going to die tomorrow or anytime soon (sorry guy in his death bed reading this). If you start going to the gym now, or start drawing now, or start playing bagpipes now, there will be a point in the future when you will be really good at that thing, and will actually like doing it. Whacky, I know.

The future looks awesome.
Photo cr. Pixie

Time stops being your enemy and starts being an asset. Sure you don't have the natural speed of a cheetah, but cheetahs only live to be like 12 years old. They're born fast, because they don't have the time to hit the track. You're born slow and gurgly. But you have tons of time to run, or learn to use nunchucks. Have you ever seen a cheetah with nunchucks? No! Because they don't have the time to practice! Or the opposable thumbs.

When we're teenagers, we think we're experts at everything. Then when we hit our 20's, we get a nagging suspicion that MAYBE there were a couple areas we glossed over in high school. Then about the time you hit 30, you realize, "dammit, I suck at EVERYTHING. There is NOTHING I can do even remotely well." That realization is quite painful, and is often enough for us to say, "screw it, I'm going to get a job in middle management and settle down and just enjoy streaming video for the rest of my life."

But, you still have a ton of time! Just because you're not 16 anymore doesn't mean you can't learn or achieve literally anything you want. Sure, you're not likely to become an Olympic gold medal swimmer, but you can be like that crazy old lady who swam across the Gulf of Mexico in her 60's. That's your inspiration! To age gracefully like Sean Connery. Or that guy from the Dos Equis™ commercials.

I don't plan on quitting. I'm going to be deadlifting compact cars until I'm 100. I'm going to run across mountains when most people are in an urn on their kids' mantle. I'm going to learn Japanese even if I never get a chance to stop in an airplane for the rest of my life. Because why the hell not? The person who tells me it's a useless skill is the person who doesn't know the joy of mastering a new skill. Of knowing what it feels like to constantly push beyond your boundaries.

For no other reason other than, "of course I did that. And just you watch what I do next."

Next skill I learn: Hitting something smaller than a house.
Photo Cr. Marc Ryan

How to Conquer Laziness

I'm super lazy. But then so is everyone else. It's in our genes. We evolved to conserve our energy. 

Those who were better at it survived.

They passed down there awesome lazy genetics to their kids. For a thousand generations.
 
We are experts at laziness.
 
So if you decide to start running, or writing, or painting on cave walls, a big voice inside of you screams, "what the hell is wrong with you?!"
 
Good question.
 
Nonetheless, I enjoy the fruits of my hard work. Most prefer the easy-to-reach fruit of instant gratification. But that fruit has been replaced by hamburgers and donuts. So many end up conserving a little TOO much energy. So how do you reconcile hard work with laziness?
 
You don't! You embrace it! I love being lazy. But laziness for me is a reward. After I've run ten miles, I've earned my right to be a sack of shit on the couch. But to get to this point I've had to break my brain somewhat. As if it wasn't broken enough already.
 
If I don't run, or write, or draw, or do whatever it is I should be doing, I hate myself. The feeling of shame and guilt far outweighs the beautiful joy of doing absolutely nothing. Most "normal" folks don't feel that bad. They say to themselves, "eh, I'll do it later. Or tomorrow. Or you know, whenever." Whenever is a code word for never. But it's so easy to lie to ourselves.
 
And that's the thing. You have to be stupidly honest with yourself. Lie to everyone else, fine, go ahead. Tell your boss that, yes, a barracuda really did jump out of a stream and into your car and that's why you were late to work. But don't lie to yourself.
 
Here's a handy-dandy chart of common lies and what they mean.
 

 
It takes a while to get used to being honest. I mean, sometimes you really ARE tired. But so what? Your body doesn't magically shut down because you're a little fatigued. You may feel like you need to sleep for a month, but I guarantee you that you can go and run for an hour. Your body would bitch at first, but after a while it would say, "OK, fine, whatever."
 
You have to train yourself to recognize all your bullshit excuses. At first the lies will just slip right through. "Oh, it's raining, and I can't run with an umbrella. That's just weird. Just get wet? No, but then I would be wet." It takes practice. But once it becomes habit, once you start always telling yourself the truth, you become your own worst enemy. It's like having a drill sargeant screaming in your face 24/7.
 
"Why the f@#k are you eating that cookie you freakin' idiot!"
 
"You have 45 minutes you piece of shit. Do some gotdanged pushups you pussy!"
 
"Do you REALLY need to watch the next episode? You seriously could have run like 15 miles by now, you weak excuse of a human being."
 
"If I wasn't just an obnoxious voice in your head, I would seriously punch you in the face. Like really really hard. You f*^king suck."
 
It's kind of amazing, actually. It's like a superpower: Infinite motivation. In the form of self-hatred. But he's a cool drill sergeant, who says things like, "wow, I yelled at you, and instead of crying, you worked out for an hour in the snow. Have a beer. In fact, have five."
 
Oh sure there are all sorts of little "tips" for beating laziness. Forming habits is good. Making it a thing you do automatically at the same time. Sure. Setting goals. Great. Making friends with other crazy people. Fantastic. Do all these things.

But ultimately, the decision has to happen inside of you. Routines, goals, and maniac friends can't force you to do anything. Only you can do that. Once you decide that something is important to you, you have to do anything and everything you can to make it a reality.

I'm not resting. I'm hunting.

Your mind is an obstacle. It wants you to eat, and lounge around, and maybe have sex with whatever is in close proximity. But other than that, it will do everything within its power to make sure you do nothing extra. And considering that it's trapped inside you, you can't do much about it. You just have to punch it, and beat it, and twist it, and suplex it into submission. Constantly, through hard work. Until your brain is just so ruined that it can't stop you any longer.
 
Your brain is not your friend. Stop treating it like one. It's a tool. Your hammer doesn't get to tell you to have cake instead. Your tractor doesn't get to say that you should probably chill out today. They don't say anything. They just sit there and judge you.
 
Before you can train your body, you have to train your mind. I mean, you'll still be lazy. But you'll KNOW that you're being lazy. And not that your mom is visiting in, like, three hours and it will totally take three hours to sweep the couch.
 
And you'll be able to love your laziness. Because as much as it sucks to feel ashamed of your laziness, it feels amazing when you actually deserve to be lazy.
 
Laziness is awesome....
 
Wait, did my brain just win?

Laziness is awesome.

80 Day Deadlift Challenge

Well I ran a marathon on Sunday and it went great. That means that I don't have to train like a maniac anymore. But I don't want folks mistakenly believing that I'm sane now.

So I've picked a new challenge for myself.

I'm going to do eighty days of deadlifts.

My current plan is to do them every morning, 6 days a week, for 14 weeks. Saturdays will be the rest day. And if you're a super-genius math wizard, you'll see that I can have 4 "sick" days and still finish in 14 weeks. And then right after that I'll start training for my next marathon.

Right, because I'm crazy.

I plan on updating this post with my progress. I'll start by posting a "before" picture below.

Before
Photo Cr. Pixie

40 Days
Photo Cr. Geoffrey

80 Days
Photo Cr. Geoffrey

My daily plan will be as follows:

• Warm up x 10 with 70 lb freeweights (=140 lbs.)
• 55% of Max x 8
• 65% of Max x 5
• 75% of Max x 5
• 85% of Max x 3
• 90% of Max x 2
• Max x 1

And then on Sundays, I will attempt a new Max at 5 more pounds than my current Max.

I started on Wednesday. The first couple days I was warming up and figuring out where I was.

Wed 10/7 Warm up x 10 175 x 8 205 x 8 235 x 8 270 x 6 285 x 5 315 x 3

Thurs 10/8 Warm up x 10 200 x 8 235 x 6 270 x 5 305 x 3 325 x 3 360 x 2

Fri 10/9 Warm up x 10 205 x 8 245 x 6 280 x 5 320 x 3 340 x 2 375 x 1

Sun 10/1 Warm up x 10 210 x 8 245 x 6 285 x 5 325 x 3 340 x 2 380 x 1 385 x 1 390 x 1

Mon 10/12 Warm up x 10 215 x 8 255 x 6 295 x 5 330 x 3 350 x 2 390 x 1

Tue 10/13 Warm up x 10 215 x 8 255 x 6 295 x 5 330 x 3 350 x 2 390 x 1

Wed 10/14 Warm up x 10 215 x 8 255 x 6 295 x 5 330 x 3 350 x 2 375 x 1

Thu 10/15 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 255 x 7 295 x 6 330 x 4 350 x 2 375 x 1

Fri 10/16 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 255 x 7 295 x 5 330 x 4 350 x 2 380 x 1

Sun 10/18 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 255 x 7 295 x 6 330 x 4 350 x 3 395 x 1 400 x 1

Mon 10/19 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 6 300 x 6 340 x 3 360 x 2 380 x 1

Tue 10/20 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 6 300 x 5 340 x 3 360 x 2 380 x 1

Wed 10/21 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 6 300 x 6 340 x 3 360 x 2 380 x 1

Thu 10/22 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 6 300 x 5 340 x 3 360 x 2 380 x 1

Fri 10/23 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 8 300 x 6 340 x 4 360 x 2 380 x 1

Sun 10/25 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 260 x 7 300 x 6 340 x 4 360 x 3 400 x 1 405 x 1 410 x 1

Mon 10/26 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 265 x 6 310 x 5 350 x 3 370 x 2 390 x 1

Tue 10/27 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 265 x 6 310 x 5 350 x 3 370 x 2 390 x 1

Wed 10/28 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 265 x 6 310 x 5 350 x 3 370 x 2 390 x 1

Thu 10/29 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 265 x 6 310 x 5 350 x 3 370 x 2 390 x 1

Fri 10/30 Warm up x 10 225 x 8 265 x 6 310 x 6 350 x 4 370 x 2 390 x 1

Sun 11/01 Warm up x 11 225 x 8 265 x 7 310 x 6 350 x 4 370 x 2 410 x 1 415 x 1 420 x 1

Mon 11/02 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 6 315 x 5 355 x 3 380 x 2 400 x 1

Tue 11/03 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 6 315 x 5 355 x 3 380 x 2 400 x 1

Wed 11/04 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 6 315 x 5 355 x 3 380 x 2 400 x 1

Thu 11/05 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 6 315 x 6 355 x 4 380 x 2 400 x 1

Fri 11/06 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 7 315 x 6 355 x 4 380 x 2 400 x 1

Sun 11/08 Warm up x 10 230 x 8 275 x 7 315 x 6 355 x 4 380 x 2 425 x 1 430 x 1

Mon 11/09 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 8 325 x 6 365 x 4 385 x 2 410 x 1

Tue 11/10 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 7 325 x 5 365 x 4 385 x 2 410 x 1

Wed 11/11 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 7 325 x 6 365 x 4 365 x 2 385 x 1 410 x 1

Thu 11/12 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 7 325 x 6 365 x 4 385 x 3 410 x 1

Fri 11/13 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 7 325 x 6 365 x 4 385 x 3 410 x 1

Sun 11/15 Warm up x 10 235 x 8 280 x 8 325 x 6 365 x 4 385 x 4 435 x 1 440 x 1

Mon 11/16 Warm up x 10 240 x 8 285 x 6 330 x 5 375 x 4 395 x 2 420 x 1

Tue 11/17 Warm up x 10 240 x 8 285 x 7 330 x 5 375 x 3 395 x 2 420 x 1

Wed 11/18 Warm up x 10 240 x 8 285 x 7 330 x 6 375 x 3 395 x 3 420 x 1

Thu 11/19 Warm up x 10 240 x 10 285 x 6 330 x 6 375 x 3 395 x 3 420 x 1

Fri 11/20 Warm up x 10 240 x 9 285 x 7 330 x 6 375 x 4 395 x 3 420 x 1

Sun 11/22 Warm up x 10 240 x 10 285 x 8 330 x 6 375 x 4 395 x 3 450 x 1 455 x 1

Mon 11/23 Warm up x 10 250 x 8 295 x 6 340 x 6 385 x 3 410 x 2 430 x 1

Tue 11/24 Warm Up x 10 250 x 9 295 x 7 340 x 6 385 x 4 410 x 2 430 x 1

Wed 11/25 Off

Thu 11/26 Warm up x 10 250 x 10 295 x 8 340 x 7 385 x 4 410 x 2 430 x 1

Fri 11/27 Warm Up x 10 250 x 10 295 x 8 340 x 6 385 x 4 410 x 2 430 x 1

Sun 11/29 Warm up x 10 250 x 9 295 x 7 340 x 6 385 x 4 410 x 2 460 x 1 465 x 1

Mon 11/30 Warm up x 10 255 x 8 300 x 6 350 x 5 395 x 3 420 x 2 440 x 1

Tue 12/01 Warm up x 10 255 x 9 300 x 7 350 x 6 395 x 4 420 x 2 440 x 1

Wed 12/02 Warm up x 10 255 x 9 300 x 8 350 x 6 395 x 4 420 x 3 440 x 1

Thu 12/03 Warm up x 10 255 x 9 300 x 8 350 x 6 395 x 4 420 x 3 440 x 1

Fri 12/04 Warm up x 10 255 x 10 300 x 8 350 x 7 395 x 5 420 x 4 440 x 2

Sun 12/06 Warm up x 10 255 x 10 300 x 8 350 x 6 395 x 4 420 x 2 470 x 1 475 x 1

Mon 12/07 Warm up x 10 260 x 9 310 x 7 360 x 5 405 x 3 430 x 2 450 x 1

Tue 12/08 Warm up x 10 260 x 9 310 x 7 360 x 5 405 x 3 430 x 2 450 x 1

Wed 12/09 Warm up x 10 260 x 10 310 x 8 360 x 6 405 x 4 430 x 2 450 x 1

Thu 12/10 Warm up x 10 260 x 10 310 x 8 360 x 7 405 x 4 430 x 2 450 x 1

Fri 12/11 Warm up x 10 260 x 10 310 x 8 360 x 7 405 x 3 430 x 2 450 x 1

Sun 12/13 Warm up x 10 260 x 10 310 x 8 360 x 8 405 x 5 430 x 2 480 x 1 485 x 1

Mon 12/14 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 7 365 x 7 410 x 4 410 x 3 410 x 3

Tue 12/15 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 8 365 x 7 410 x 4 435 x 3 435 x 1

Wed 12/16 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 8 365 x 8 410 x 5 410 x 4 410 x 3

Thu 12/17 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 8 365 x 8 410 x 4 435 x 3 435 x 2

Fri 12/18 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 8 365 x 7 410 x 4 435 x 2 460 x 1

Sun 12/20 Warm up x 10 265 x 10 315 x 8 365 x 8 410 x 5 435 x 3 490 x 1

Mon 12/21 Warm up x 10 270 x 10 320 x 7 370 x 7 415 x 5 415 x 3 440 x 2

Tue 12/22 Warm up x 10 270 x 10 320 x 8 370 x 7 415 x 4 415 x 3 415 x 3

Wed 12/23 Warm up x 10 270 x 10 320 x 8 370 x 8 415 x 5 440 x 3 465 x 1

Thu 12/24 Off

Fri 12/25 Off

Sun 12/27 Warm up x 10 270 x 10 320 x 8 370 x 8 415 x 5 440 x 2 495 x 1

Mon 12/28 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 8 375 x 8 420 x 4 420 x 3 445 x 2

Tue 12/29

Wed 12/30 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 8 375 x 8 420 x 5 445 x 3 470 x 1

Thu 12/31 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 8 375 x 8 420 x 6 445 x 3 500 x 1

Fri 1/01 Off

Sun 1/03 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Mon 1/04 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Tue 1/05 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Wed 1/06 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Thu 1/07 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Fri 1/08 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 6 325 x 6 325 x 6

Sun 1/10 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7

Mon 1/11 Warm up x 10 275 x 10 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7 325 x 7

Tue 1/12 Warm up x 10 280 x 9 330 x 7 330 x 7 330 x 7 330 x 7 330 x 7

So it looks like my starting max is about 375. Tomorrow (Saturday), is my rest day. Then Sunday I will try 380. And I will continue to update this post almost every day.

This would definitely crush a lot of pavement.

So it looks like my starting max is about 375. Tomorrow (Saturday), is my rest day. Then Sunday I will try 380. And I will continue to update this post almost every day.

This would definitely crush a lot of pavement.

Will I succeed at my challenge? I have no idea. Will I put on a ton of sexy muscle? I hope so! But again, who knows. Will this help my running? Or will it make me big and slow? I'll find out in a few months!

Why am I doing this? Don't ask me that question. I mentioned in a previous post that there's no clear answer. But I'm on this path, for better or for worse. And I'm not going to quit now. A few weeks down the road, as I post updates, I may offer up some more words of inspiration. But for now, keep checking back for how I do. Or just wait 80 days and see if I survived!

Updates

Tuesday 1/12/2016: 80 days. Woo! I uploaded the "after" pics from this morning. May not look like there's too much of a difference in my size. Most of the increases I noticed were in my lats and my traps, and those are hard to see in the pics. My posture changed a bit in the pics too, so that can make it harder to compare too. I'll write the lessons learned post a little later.


Monday 1/11/2016: 79 days. Just 1 more to go! It's hard to believe. These last couple weeks have been anticlimactic for the challenge. At this point I just want to finish out the 80 days. As I mentioned, I've just been keeping the weight low and trying to improve my form and my leg strength.

After tomorrow's final lift, I'll write a lessons learned post. And I definitely learned a lot! And then on to the next challenge!

Wednesday 1/06/2016: 75 days. Just 5 more to go.

On New Years Eve, I lifted 500 pounds. I wasn't planning on trying it then. But I had a great lift, and Geoffrey and my brother Alex encouraged me to try for 500. Below is a really embarrassing video of the lift.

The first thing any fellow lifter will notice is that my form is TERRIBLE. Like really really awful. I'm excited that I got 500 pounds up off the ground, but it doesn't really count as a deadlift. And despite the comments many of my friends made, my back was totally fine afterwards. In fact it was the only part of my body that wasn't sore.

I took Friday off. Then starting Sunday - and through to the end of the challenge - I'm just focusing on my form. If you look at the tables above, you'll see I just do a bunch of sets at 325. Unfortunately, at the same time, I got a horrible cold. So the sets have been weak.

I'll finish out the challenge, and write a lessons learned post. Stay tuned!

Monday 12/28: 68 days devoured. I took a couple of days off for Christmas. Don't think I slacked off though. On Christmas Eve, while everyone else slept off their hangovers, I got up at 7am and ran 18 miles. Christmas day, I ran twice, totaling 13 miles. 13 again Saturday.  As I mentioned (http://www.crushingpavement.com/2015/12/holidays-more-time-to-exercise.html) holidays means I have more time to exercise. I don't waste them sleeping or lounging around.

I was hoping that taking a few days off from the deadlift challenge would allow the muscles to heal and swell. I definitely felt really great and refreshed yesterday. However, when it came time to test max, I was only able to add 5 pounds. That's still not bad, considering I plateaued the prior week, and then only had three days of lifts after that. But nonetheless, resting and healing isn't quite the panacea that many lifters had me believe. I've added over a hundred pounds to my deadlift since I started, and most of that was with almost no rest. Your body will grow. It just takes persistence and super hard work.

Only a couple weeks left. I'm on the home stretch! 500 here I come.

Monday 12/21: 64 days of deadlifts have been conquered! I'm 80% done!! Yesterday I hit a max of 490. It's the first time I've only gone up by 5 pounds. But I've gone longer than I expected before hitting the plateau. And the 490 went up solid. I'm still on track to hit 500 before the end of the challenge, maybe even before the end of the year!

As I mentioned previously, I'll be traveling for Christmas. I'm going to miss a couple of days of lifting. But I'm looking forward to seeing what effect a few extra days of rest have on my lifts. I suspect that next Sunday is going to feel really good, but I won't know for sure. In any case it'll be nice to not have an aching lower back for a change. Happy holidays everyone!

Monday 12/14: 58 days smashed to heck! Yesterday I hit a new max of 485. I keep thinking that I've plateaued and that I'll only be increasing by 5 pounds per week, but I'm still getting 10 pounds added to my max every week. In addition, 485 yesterday went up super smooth, and I got a good lock at the top. Whereas 475 the previous week was really sloppy. Of course, I also didn't run a brutal pace on Saturday like I did the previous Saturday.

Interestingly, when I did 480, I got an interesting ab cramp. This isn't the first time it's happened. Even weirder, it's a different region that cramps every time, one specific quadrant of the abs. It doesn't hurt, though it doesn't feel super comfortable. I immediately take some deep breaths and rub it out and it subsides. But yes, interesting.

You may have noticed in my table above that today I finished up with 3 sets of 410 (85%), instead of my usual 85%, 90%, 95% progression. I'm going to experiment with dropping the weight on my last sets to reduce impact on my lower back. On Mondays and Wednesdays I'll top out at 85%, Tuesdays and Thursdays at 90%, and Fridays at 95%. Sundays will still be max attempt. I'll update this with how the change affects my lifts. I suspect the added reps will actually improve my strength gains slightly.

Monday 12/07: 52 days annihilated! Nevermind last Sunday. Yesterday's max lift was by far the hardest. It barely went up. After this I may only be doing an increase of 5 pounds per week. But I should still be able to hit 500 by the end of the challenge. This morning's lifts felt pretty good, despite getting no sleep last night (wink wink... but not really). It's hard to believe that my three last sets are all over 400, a weight I thought was impossible for me at the start of the challenge.

My lower back gets pretty sore doing the lifts. I don't know if it's the friction of my muscle against the bone, or pulling against the bone. It doesn't linger throughout the day for the most part. But I take a pain med occasionally to reduce inflammation. I don't want to risk injury, but I'm committed to finishing this challenge! So far so good.

I did a massive amount of running the past few days. 10 miles Thursday, 7 Friday, 12 fast brutal miles Saturday, 8 yesterday, and 11.5 today. Almost 50 in just 5 days! It would be easy to surrender, or even just to cut back. But I refuse to do so. I push my body to the limit everyday. And you know what? It takes everything I throw at it. The human body is an amazing thing and I will use everything it offers. Too many people don't.

Christmas will be tough on this challenge, since I'll be traveling. I may have to take a couple of days off, but it will be interesting to see what effect a few rest days has on my strength. I suspect my max lift will jump. But I will make sure to finish out 80 days, even I have to go past 14 weeks a bit. This has been an awesome journey so far. I've learned a ton, and gained a lot of strength. It's given me a new perspective. And more importantly a new routine. I will continue to lift in the mornings even after this challenge is complete. Stay tuned!

Monday 11/30: 46 days smashed! As I mentioned last week, I took Wednesday off in order to have super fresh legs for the 5K Thanksgiving morning. And I crushed it. The 3K time on my watch was 19:31, which is almost 40 seconds off my previous PR! The course was actually short, and I had to run past the finish line to get the right distance. Good thing I have my watch, otherwise I would've thought I'd shaved a minute and a half off my PR time, which is ridiculous. I just hope not too many people were fooled by the short route; they're going to be really disappointed at the next 5K that's actually 3.1 miles.

I did deadlifts Thursday after my run (total of 7 miles when I include warm up and cool down). Then I exploded my body with food and booze the rest of the day. Like holy hell did I jam myself until pumpkin pie was oozing out my ears. I had actually saved up almost 2000 calories leading up to Thanksgiving. But despite running that day and burning even more calories, I not only ate up all of the surplus, I actually went an extra 1000 over. I think that means I ate about 6000 calories that day. This is what I looked like after doing that:

I'm not sleeping. I'm digesting.

That was a brutal day. The next few days I kept hitting my deadlifts and did a ton of running: 13 more miles Friday, 8 on Saturday, and 10 really hilly miles on Sunday (yesterday). I'm a wreck today. Everything hurts. My "holidays" always end up leaving me more tired. Work is like my vacation from life. Yesterday I hit a new max of 465 pounds. This was the hardest max lift yet, so I believe I'm reaching a plateau, but I'll know better in the next couple weeks. I'm still hoping to hit 500 by the end of my challenge.

465 pounds. Looks so innocent just lying there. Don't trust the lie!

Monday 11/23: 41 days bulldozed! I am more than halfway done! I felt strong last week, so yesterday I pushed my max by 15 pounds, rather than the usual 10. I got up to 455! Which means I have to buy new weights again. I posted a pic of me after 40 days, though the differences are probably subtle. I've definitely gotten stronger, while losing a little bit of weight. We'll see what happens after day 80!

I'm running a 5K on Thanksgiving day. I would really like to get under 20 minutes, so I'm going to take Wednesday off of the deadlifts (gasp!), and I'll do Thursday's deadlifts after the race. Then I will eat a ton of food and drink a ton of booze. Looking forward to it! 

Wait, so it gets heavier every week?

Monday 11/16: 35 days completed. Almost halfway done! New max of 440 pounds reached yesterday. I've been adding 10 pounds every Sunday. I'm not sure if or when I may plateau. So far I feel strong and I'm definitely growing. I also ran 13 miles Saturday and 7 miles Sunday (after my lifts). I ran a total of 53 miles Monday through Sunday. I've been able to balance running and lifting so far without too much pain or soreness. I've been trying to eat more as well, to keep my weight from dropping too much. Stay tuned for my continued progress!

440 pounds. Progress! And no, don't expect decency from me.
Photo Cr. Geoffrey Brown (poor man)

Tuesday 11/10: 30 days slammed. Hit a new max Sunday of 430 pounds. Then I immediately ran 5.25 fast miles (7:08 average pace!). Then I spent the rest of the day moving. This required me to port over 800 pounds of weights in a wheelbarrow, uphill, for 700 feet one way. You think, wheelbarrow? That's easy. No. It slammed all the same exact muscles as my deadlifts. A lot.

Harder than deadlifts

So my legs, lower back, and forearms especially are all fried. I forgot to bring my bar Sunday, so I had to pick it up after work and do my deadlifts later yesterday. Was a nice change of pace doing them not half-asleep. This morning, it was back to doing them in the dark, while trying not to crush my cat, who has already acclimated to the new house. She's cool. Cooler than me.

And yes, I made sure to plan my move in such a way that I wouldn't miss a single day of deadlifts. I said, "weights first! Clothes, toothbrush, and all that other shit can wait." It's not like I wear clothes around the house anyway, much to the chagrin of my new housemates. Which is Geoffrey! Incidentally. And his awesome sons. It is a testosterone packed house. There will be a lot of running with Geoffrey in the future. And lifting with his brutally strong kids (seriously, his 17 year old son deadlifts more than I do, and the 14 year old recently did 425! Holy shit!). It's inspiration.

Also, I made them quesadillas. Win.

Monday 11/2: 23 days! More than a quarter done. Last week I was sick, and my lower back was really sore the whole week. I almost took a "sick" day, but glad I didn't. Being sick sucks, because it slows my recovery. But I felt really solid yesterday and hit a new max of 420 pounds. And this morning was good too.

420. NBD.

Yesterday was daylight savings time. I didn't realize it this morning, and was wondering why the sun was already coming up while I was doing my lifts! It's a welcome change. It will definitely make the next few weeks easier. Keep checking in for my progress! So far so good!

Monday 10/26: 17 days down and out! I got to 410 yesterday. I think I could've done 415, but had already done 3 sets in a row at near max, and didn't want to push it. But it means that next Sunday, I'm "guaranteed" to go up at least 5 pounds. Plus this morning was pretty hard, so I'm at the level I should be at for training. Pain-wise, my calluses hurt the most, so having a good grip is challenging sometimes. Above 300 pounds, I use straps.

410. Straps please.

In the previous update, I'd written that my running was faster, and I wasn't sure if that was from the lifting. Well at the end of last week, I did a TON of running. 3 runs totaling 14 miles on Thursday, 2 runs totaling almost 12 on Friday, a 10 miler on Saturday, and 8.35 on Sunday between treadmill and outdoors. All 3 runs on Thursday were fast, as was the first run on Friday. But the second run on Friday was slower, and the run on Saturday was really slow. The treadmill Sunday was fast, but the outdoor run afterwards was slow.

I believe that the most likely reason for my faster runs is that I'm better rested when I'm running less. However, I have noticed that I get almost zero pain or soreness on my runs, and that my form is pretty perfect. The deadlifts have definitely helped toughen up my bones, muscles, and tendons. Compared to the deadlifts, running is "easy" on my body.

I won't really know how the deadlifts have helped my speed until race season starts up again. But I'm looking forward to it!

Monday 10/19: 11 days out of the way! Hit 400 pounds yesterday. I've made a couple of adjustments to my plan. I do my second set at 225, because racking and unracking the 45 pound plates is a pain. I've also dropped the last rep during the week to about 95% of max. My plan had originally called for doing max every day, but the 95% feels good and is still going to build strength, while reducing risk of injury or failure.

I've started going to bed earlier every night, and usually wake up before my alarm, so I have ample time to do my sets. Getting up every day has gotten easier, even though it's dark and cold. Really cold! But I do my sets in my bathrobe, and with this little guy:

You're nuts. Can't you see it's cold and dark?

So it's not too bad. I've also noticed that all my runs for the past week have been really fast. Whether it's 6 miles or 12 miles, they've all averaged between 7:40 and 7:50 miles. I suspect it's more to do with the cooler weather, but it's still motivating to see my running staying strong. Will keep you up to date as the weeks go by!

Tuesday 10/13: Well I've done six days so far. As I've mentioned with running, the greatest challenge is picking myself up of the couch and getting out the door. But once I'm running, I feel great. So too with the deadlifts. Getting out of a warm comfy bed while it's still pitch black out is the hardest part. But once I start doing the lifts, it gets a lot easier.

Part of the reason I decided to do them every weekday, and to take my rest day on a weekend, was so that I would never have the option of sleeping in. It's important for it to become a habit, something I do every day before work. Forming habits is critical to sticking with any workout plan.

And in case it's not evident, I'm still running and doing other lifts. I run about 40 miles a week, and do upper body workouts twice a week. So far I haven't encountered any injuries or excessive soreness, except for a hamstring that was a bit tight for a couple days.Will continue to update as I progress.

The idea for this challenge was inspired by this article: https://www.t-nation.com/training/100-day-squat-challenge.